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The Essence of Woman

Sacred Women's Business


7 Sacred Seeds to Grow the Essence of your Luscious,
Wild and Fabulously Feminine Self
by Lani Neilson

May these sacred seeds of womanhood grow your feminine potential and lead you deep into the heart of your feminine centre where you can be nourished by the essence of who you are as a woman. We are all cells within the sacred body of the goddess and when we are connected to the emotional compass of our inner voice, our prowess and strength, the aliveness of our shakti (life force) and our soft,sensual, feminine essence, we come home to where our Beloved is waiting -deep inside of our very own heart.In the service of love and in service to the sacred feminine, may these teachings connect you to the eros of the earth, to love’s breath within your body, and to the sacredness and the spirit of your womanhood.
7 Ways to Nourish Your Feminine Essence within the Sacred Seedbed of ‘Woman’

Seed 1 – Nourish your Feminine Root System -The Tree of Life

Women are the keepers of lore- women’s lore and they are primordial stewards of medicine teaching stories; stories about creation, fertility, bloodlines, community structure, sacred sexuality, mature conscious love, healthy relationships, care of soul, care of the earth, care of the children, sacred dance and care of the essence of ‘She’.
Women are the keepers of rituals and ceremonies that honor the 'passages of power' through life, such as birthing and death rites. Your feminine spirit needs a connection to these teachings and your feminine essence needs a social, supportive, loving community of women in order to grow and cultivate your She- roots. These roots feed you with grounding, stability, connection, security, safety, trust and a sense of self. Women’s circles are the sacred seedbeds in which women gather together to learn how to nurture them selves, nurture each other and learn to grow into their yin power.
Give yourself access to the feminine power these traditions carry by joining a women’s circle in your local area. Healthy circles of feminine energy appear in many forms and range from; women’s meditation groups, Wicca circles, shamanic lodges, cooking classes, book clubs, women’s support groups, craft circles and dance classes where a woman’s body is honored and celebrated through the dance movements. By sharing, laughing, dancing, healing and being in women’s spiritual community, you will nourish your spirit with these feminine practices and nurture your need to feel connected, increase your trust in life, enter into your body wisdom, increase the love and joy in your life and take your place of power within the sacred tree of life.
Seed 2 - Nourish your Creative Womb Power
There is sacred life giving energy that YOU carry within your body temple and when this is used with conscious intent,(every time you conceive an idea, a vision, a project, a passion, or a physical child), it is an act of spiritual power. This ‘woman’ energy fuels the birth of all things, the life of all things, and it also fuels the destruction of all things. Feminine lore has always taught that women carry the medicine of creation- the power of birth, life and death within their bodies and they do so in a very different way than men do. Masculine energy moves outward into the world with direction and purpose so it may achieve and manifest. It is purposeful, goal orientated, driven and detached from emotion (which allows clear decision making). It overcomes obstacles, directs energy, is fully present and enters the world focused and committed to achieving a grand goal/vision. Many women have learnt to harness the energy of ‘going for what we want’ and we have successfully used our inner masculine energy (our mind) to achieve our dreams, but at what cost?
The feminine way of creating is very different and the law of attraction is a very good example of how feminine energy births worlds into being. A woman’s creative energy uses inner fields of magnetic power to intend, 'dream the future' and draw it to her, she receives it. Our inner feminine accesses our heart, our intuition and the fertile ground of our spiritual womb space which is intimately connected to the fields of intention. A woman has the ability to intend and "dream in" the future. By beckoning intention, growing it and empowering it with her feelings, she sets up the path for its attainment. As she aligns herself with the vibrational field of what she intends to manifest, she magnetises this towards herself and what she conceived is now birthed into the world. It is magnetically drawn to her and she didn’t need to go out into the world and hunt it down. Remember, we need a balance of both. There is a time to go within and align your inner world with your desire and there is a time to take actions that accelerate its arrival.
Seed 3 – Nourish your Sacred Dance of Life - Following the Beat of your Own Drum
Each one of us has a sacred dance of our soul. A way of moving through the world, of sharing sacred breath with all beings and walking in beauty with the earth that is unique to each one of us. To dance this sacred dance is to follow the beat of your own drum and hold hands with your own destiny. How do you follow the beat of your own drum? By learning to tune into the inner voice of your authentic self. This is your internal compass which offers you guidance on how to find balance between power and vulnerability and it is felt in the form of your emotions, physical reactions, intuitions and dreams. This can be a difficult task though when the voice of your internal compass is muffled because you have lost conscious contact with your authentic self and have fallen asleep to the core of your personal power. How did this happen? How did the world begin to live inside of you and start drowning out the voice of your spirit?
You were born connected to your own unique essence. As you grew, you received messages from your family and the world around you that began to shape and affect your concept of self. Therefore the image you have of your self comes not from your own direct experience of who you uniquely are. Instead it comes from borrowed knowledge and the beliefs, opinions and projections of others. As you invest your energy into fulfilling their agenda’s, you develop a false and more socially acceptable self. The more you remain identified with your social self, the less authentic you are able to be and the more confused you will feel when too many voices begin to pull you this way and that way. To begin to open your awareness of this take out a piece of paper and a pen, take two deep breaths deep down into your belly…..then ask yourself this simple question Q: Who is it within me that is seeking love?  ..and Q:Who have I learnt to become in order to have this love?...Write down your answers. These will include different masks, (masks hide your real self) of your inner child: my good girl, high achiever, rebel, inner prince/princess, hero, invisible child, my wounded abused child…etc, and then one by one begin to explore what it is your inner child is looking for, (for example: to be loved, needed, accepted, seen, approved of, to feel powerful, to get attention). The bottom line here is this, when you are being your social 'pretender' self and you are wearing your masks, you are dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum, and not the beat of your own.
Seed 4 Nourish your Sacred Mother – Soul Retrieval
Healing your relationship with your femininity will inevitably involve healing your relationship with 'Mother' energy. Very few women (and men) are able to say that they were mothered well, and many of us have been parented by the shadow side of the 'Mother'. This shadow aspect of the mother can smother and devour the life that she is meant to  love, nurture, protect and steward. Instead of modeling unconditional love, healthy boundaries, devotion, joy and playfulness, sensuality and sexuality, respect, compassion, aliveness, and offer life affirming messages that shape healthy self esteem and body image, (especially in regards to food, expressing emotions and sexuality), she becomes a life–taker, rather than a life-giver. For example. She can be; neglectful, rigid, controlling, critical, judgmental, disconnected, disempowering, shaming, narcissistic, oppressive and manipulative. There are many aspects of the shadow mother that you will be familiar with and when healing the mother wound it is important to be aware of how you were personally impacted by the mothering you received. This is crucial because we all internalise this is some way and we either mother ourselves, (and others) in the same way that we were mothered or we can also swing the pendulum the other way and behave in ways that are the exact opposite of how we were mothered. However, the other end of the pendulum’s swing will contain the very same pain, hurt and fear that the other end does. There is no escaping the hurt, we just make a different choice in the way we express it as we survive it. To begin your journey into healing your mother wound you may want to start by exploring the answer to this question. Q: By her example, what did your mother teach you about self love, nurturing and having self worth as a woman?
Healthy mother energy is meant to teache you about the left and right hands of love. That one hand of love is tender, soft, nourishing, playful, devoted, compassionate, forgiving and life sustaining and life affirming....and her other hand is the keeper and preserver of the balance of life. This hand is the dark hand of Kali-ma and Durga Ma, she is the destroyer and she will bring death/destruction to all that threatens the balance of life. The dark mother is a healthy aspect of mother energy. She is the lioness and mother bear energy that will protect her cubs from danger.  The dark mother is the power of your instincts, she is your inner knowing that is aware that something is off. When you learn to pay attention to her voice within you, she will call you to power and she awakens your "inner lioness' to sniff out and discover any potential danger to life... yours, someone else's or the web of life that is our great mother gaia that sustains life upon our precious planet. And in day-to day practical terms, for you means tha she assists you to destroy the ego (the false self) and she allows you to conceive and birth your true, divine self.

 Seed 5 Nourishing Aphrodite
In the ancient temples of the goddess, transmission of feminine sexual energy were one of the most profound aspects of women’s mystery teachings and one of the most important steps on the path to feminine liberation. Awakening your sensual and sexual energy are two essential keys that open inner pathways to your aliveness and your full feminine potential. Women have been conditioned to believe that the ‘full spectrum’ and power of their feminine orgasmic energy is something to be ashamed of and we have learnt to hide it beneath the veils of contracted bodies, shallow breathing, masculine forms of sexuality, silent voices, cultural taboos and the masks of appropriate social behaviour. When a woman is gifted with a natural, liberating and loving sexual education that allows her to experience her body as a sacred temple and her yonhi/vagina as a sacred site, she learns confidence, reverence and devotion to love and gains a deep respect for the Shakti energy she carries within her womb. She also learns that sex is a doorway to spirit and conscious lovemaking with a loving, deeply present partner can open her into enlightenment. To begin to awaken your sensuality and invite your kundalini serpent energy to rise up within you, begin by doing something on a regular basis that makes you feel feminine, beautiful, passionate, sexy, and ‘fully’ alive. Example; wear sexy lingerie underneath your work clothes, eat chocolate s-l-o-w-l-y, walk in the rain, dance like no-ones watching to your favourite music, read erotic stories, walk on the grass with no shoes, do restorative yoga under the light of the full moon.

 Seed 6 – Nourish your Aliveness and your hunger for life!
Q: Do you ‘really’ know what lies at the core and the root of your hunger? Are you aware of what drives your insatiable cravings for more? Do you recognize whose voice is truly behind the compulsion you have to loathe your body as you look into the mirror and judge it?... Exploring your relationship with your body, your self image and the spirit of your own feminine beauty is a courageous choice in a world that is built upon ideals that have affected women and society in such as powerful way that body obsession, cycles of consistent dieting, exercise routines, eating disorders and distorted self image are now considered to be ‘normal’. Women collectively spend millions of dollars supporting a ‘youth and beauty culture’ that is geared towards depleting women of their precious life energies and ‘literally’ banks on their resulting insecurities. As a daughter of patriarchy you are bombarded with disempowering messages that undermine your innate value and worth and as patriarchy seeks to veil the face and the bodytemple of the sacred feminine, you have do not have authentic images to reflect back to your true essence. Without the sacred feminine to rremind you of your spiritual home as a woman it is easy to become disconnected from your emotions, from the temple of your body and from the ebb and flow of your inner tides and natural cycles. Your hunger is an emotional hunger, your cravings are for love not chocolate and the emptiness inside you is a spiritual emptiness that is inevitable in the absence of a deeper connection to who you immense beauty of who you are as a woman. Start lifting the veils that distorts your self perceptions by finding out ‘who you are’ and begin to take the steps towards learning to truly love your self. Here are some ways you can begin (1) Feed and nourish your mind by reading books, poetry and articles that awaken your spirit (2) Feed and nourish your wisdom by spending time with wise Elder-women (3) Feed and nourish your heart by following your bliss, being in nurturing living spaces, care for your soul - the soul of the earth and the soul of all beings, feel the warmth of loving, intimate relationships (4) Feed and nourish your body by practicing mindful eating, eat alive foods, relax and sleep when you need to and alkalise your body (5) Feed and nourish your connection to mother earth by spending 10 minutes each day with your bare feet upon her body, take time to listen to creation speak to you, lay on the earth and gaze at the ful moon and fill your home with flowers-plants-crystals, etc.. (alive earth energies)

Seed 7 – Nourish your Body temple - Unfolding the Petals of the Feminine Lotus Flower
A woman’s body is the holiest of all temples and it is the sacred ground upon which a woman loves, breaths, opens, creates life, dances, orgasms, worships and experiences herself as the divine love and light that gives her body radiance, energy, shape and form. The time has come on the planet for women to shine and learn how to enter our bodies in ways that honor our feminine spirit and blesses the deeper waters of our body’s intuitive wisdom. The parts of our body that are not filled with our presence are vulnerable to our negative thinking, unconscious patterns, destructive habits and the cultural mechanisms that seek to disconnect us from our power. Your body is a spiritual teacher and it offers you passage and initiation into the blood mysteries of womanhood – menstruation, pregnancy, birth and menopause. There is no male equivalent to these passages. If you allow this fact alone to resonate inside of you, it can transform your sense of feminine worth. It is time for us to practice acts of feminine power that love our bodies, heal our bodies and restore our bodies to wholeness. The question for you is ‘Do you know how to enter your body, contact this sacred energy of initiation and source your life from its presence?’ Practicing these keys is a very good beginning.

 © Lani Neilson
Lani Neilson is a highly gifted teacher of ‘Womanly Arts’ and Feminine Spiritual Practice’s. In the spirit of women’s spiritual traditions, where Women’s Sacred Mysteries, Medicine Teachings and Ancient Ceremonies & Rites of Passages are passed on from woman to woman, it is her passion and her calling to gather women together to pass these sacred teachings forward to further humanity’s journey of healing and self discovery.

NOTE: You are welcome to reprint this article online or in hardcopy magazines or newspapers as long as it remains unaltered and complete (including the information about Lani Neilson at the end), and you send a copy of your reprint to or P.O. Box 752 Warners Bay NSW 2282 Australia